Love is a Funny Thing

Love is a funny thing. We spend our whole lives chasing it, showing it, wishing for it, giving it, sharing it, and if we are truly lucky, finding it. It takes all shapes and sizes. But at our cores, each of us wants and needs the love of those around us. I was lucky enough to meet and marry my true love, who is also my best friend, but imagine my surprise when it hit me this week that the reason Dave’s change over the carnivore diet through me for a loop so hard.

Not sure what I was reading, heck it may even have been a video or television program, but I figured it out this week. “Love language” has been tossed around for at least the last decade and it varies from person to person, but it was never a concept that resonated with me. That changed this week, turns out I do have a love language and it is cooking and baking for those I love. Simple right?

Turns out that it’s not so simple when suddenly you aren’t cooking or baking. Meals in the last three months have been meat and eggs, throw in some cheese on occasionally. Nothing exciting, not challenging, no new recipes to fiddle with, nothing. I was slowly going completely off-kilter, despite knowing I was loved.

Dave has gotten healthier on the carnivore diet, as have I even if I “cheat” on it constantly. He has seen remarkable improvements in dealing with his auto-immune issues and the unintentional side effect has been that he has dropped in excess of forty pounds. He has more energy. He is flourishing and is younger than he has been in the last decade plus. I have watched in irritated amazement as he has transformed himself into a slimmer, active, and happier person.

“Irritated amazement” doesn’t sound like a happy wife, does it? But truth is, I am happy but now I have to navigate unfamiliar waters and rediscover how to say “I love you” without verbalizing it. How do I even do that when meals are out, or he doesn’t eat the produce I grow? Truth is, I haven’t a clue. It is a scary road that lies before me.

Did Dave intentionally set out to throw me off kilter? Of course not. Am I off kilter? Absolutely. Do I mean to stay off kilter? Nope, but it will take some time to redefine my primary love language. So much of how I defined myself as a wife has been tied up in the delicious food that emerges from my kitchen. My creativity and heart have been wrapped up in what I make for those I love. It will take time to shift that love language from being so food centric that it impedes my ability to create and flourish in the myriad of other ways Dave expresses his love for me and our life.

Now at this point you are probably wondering what the purpose of this post is, I realized that I cannot be the only one who has ever found herself in this situation. It is an uncomfortable position to find yourself in to be honest. Starting to redefine love is a path I never anticipated walking down but now that I am on that path, I have to navigate the obstacles or forever be in a funk. Quite frankly, being in a funk is it opposite of my personality so I am not anticipating stumbling along this path for long. However, I also need to remember to give myself grace and patience, and to remember to extend those to Dave whenever I get frustrated that he is more than satisfied and content with yet another “boring” meal of steak and eggs.

The journey will be interesting, especially since my garden in flourishing. I am eagerly awaiting the first produce of the year, currently it is a race between the tomatillos and zucchini. Even if he doesn’t eat a single thing that comes from our garden, I certainly shall. Join me for the summer vegetables and the awkward stumble down the new love language path.

So, its been a hot minute…

Kahlua’s sweet face says it all, grumbling at Mom for neglecting this site while life has been happening. It wasn’t an intentional decision, so much as one born from, well life happening.

Dave made a health/lifestyle decision which threw me for a loop and changed the rhythm of the household. He decided to go on the carnivore diet, out of nowhere from my perspective, and without telling me first. He started intermittent fasting first and then quickly transitioned to carnivore.

I love to cook and bake. I love experiencing new flavor combinations, revisiting old favorites, and sharing the results with family and friends. When our household of two suddenly shifts to eating nothing but protein, all of that joy and connection to the past is just gone. I realize that sounds overly dramatic and emotional but it is a very accurate description. I deeply miss the joy of cooking and baking.

There have been very positive benefits from switching to carnivore, for both of us. Dave has been much better about sticking to the diet without cheating. I have never fully committed to it because frankly, a Tammy without access to chocolate and the occasional tortilla and refried beans would be scary for the population at large. For Dave the benefits have been tremendous. He suffers from auto-immune disease and it has cleared up all of his outward symptoms. The itching and pain have also vanished for him. He has also lost weight, which is a nice side benefit.

We have both experience a dramatic difference in how our joints feel. Being in our 50’s, the aches and pains were beginning to make themselves felt and heard. The inflammation has disappeared for both of us and we both have more energy and move better. I can honestly say it is due to the diet since that is the only change we have made. We have experimented with adding some foods back in and are starting to learn what triggers reactions in each of us. For instance, he is much more reactive to sugars and carbs than I am, but I react poorly to an over indulgence in carbs in one day.

Unfortunately, that change has impacted life on the homestead. How do you grow vegetables when they aren’t on your diet? It has taken me months to come to terms with the idea that this year we will be growing very little produce. However, I am still growing some because honestly, a summer without fresh tomatoes or peppers is unimaginable to me. Dave may not ever indulge in the goodness from the garden but I certainly shall.

The garden looked particularly lovely this morning and it was the first time this year I have been remotely enthused about gardening. It felt good to be honest. It gave me a sense of peace and energy that I have been missing the last couple of months.

Changes are flourishing and they are not expected. The new chickens are thriving, the house is getting much needed improvements, and we are happier than we have been in a long time. However, all this change and new endeavors have dramatically altered my time and attention to this passion. It has been a challenge to be energized and eager to create content when I no longer cook a wide variety of foods and the garden has been dramatically downsized from what I imagined.

So, if you’ve stuck around this long you are probably wondering what the plans are for the future. Honestly, I am still attempting to figure that out but there are beginning to be glimmers and sparks of inspiration. I have gotten comfortable with being on camera, thanks to my other passion in life reading, and so I might find a way to incorporate those skills for this site. I am still kicking around that idea however, so time will tell on that idea. I think trying to chronicle our experience on carnivore/modified carnivore is another. Social media is full of adherents and detractors but I haven’t found any who are older and were/are gardeners.

It will be an interesting experiment to see what I can create and fall in love with to put out content consistently. It will be a challenge I won’t lie. There are already so many amazing homestead content creators and therein lies the true challenge. It is a challenge I am looking forward to, even as it scares me senseless at the same moment. Must mean I am on the right track because that is precisely how I felt before I joined BookTube. I admit I am far from a social media influencer, but truthfully I am fine not having that level of notoriety.

All I can promise is my best effort going forward. I haven’t decided on a schedule for posting yet. As soon as I know, you will know. I wanted to get this post out while the creativity and passion were still fresh. I miss chatting, posting, and sharing our homesteading journey.

If you are still here and have read this far, I hope you will continue to stick around as I find new footing and content which is homesteading related but not necessarily the content I had planned for this year. Life is all about being open to change, something I am notoriously bad at, but the truly nice thing about aging is you realize peaks and valleys sooner which means you can adapt faster. We would be honored if you joined us on this new and ever evolving journey.